Saturday, November 29, 2008

All the great stuff I love about Arizona!!!

You know your from AZ when...

-You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
-You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
-You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.
-You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour...and it will be over 100 degrees.
-You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.
-You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
-The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.
-You realize that "Valley Fever" isn't a disco dance.
-You can make sun tea instantly.
-Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
-It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.
-You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
-Sunscreen is sold year round and kept right at the checkout counter.
-You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.
-Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them.
-Worse.....some fools actually try to jog.
-You can pronounce Saguaro, Tempe, San Xavier, Canyon de Chelly, Mogollon Rim, Cholla, Gila and Tucson.
-You can understand the reason for a town named "Why"
-You can fry an egg on the hood of a car in the morning.
-You know hot air balloons can't rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.
-You see two trees fighting over a dog.
-You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.
-You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River
-You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves
-You hear people say "but it's a dry heat!"
-You buy salsa by the gallon.
-Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.
-You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
-All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
-You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
-Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los."
-You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
-Your house is made of stucco.
-Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
-Most homes have more firearms than people.
-People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.
-You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.
-You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
-You take rain dances seriously.
-When a rainy day puts you in a good mood.
-When you drive two miles around a parking lot looking for a shady place - even in the dead of winter.
-You feed your chickens ice cubes to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
-You "hug" a cactus only once in your lifetime.
-When you have to look up "mass transit" in the dictionary.
-A hundred ten in the shade is sorta hot, but you don't have to shovel it off your driveway.
-Petrified doesn't mean scared.
-The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
-You've lived in AZ your whole life and have never been to the Grand Canyon
-You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
-You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
-You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
-you realize that snowbirds aren't really birds at all, but just really bad out of state drivers that you learn to hate
-there are only two temperatures, hot and hotter
-even thinking about not having air conditioning makes you sweat
-you travel out of state and any sort of humidity nearly kills you
-you have no idea why 48 other states (Hawaii doesn't do it either) insist on changing their clocks twice a year for this thing called "daylight savings time"
-*At the mall during Christmas time, you freak out when small bubbles fall from the celine pretending to be snow. When it stops everyone lets out a collective "Awww"

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